Choosing the Right Mentors

Have you stopped to consider whose advice is influencing you?

Or what types of mentors you may have?

There are many people sharing their opinions today, but it is important to make sure we are following sound advice in the areas we desire to grow and improve in, and that we are able to decipher between what is in alignment with our values and objectives and what is not.

A great place to begin is to understand the difference between a “Role Mentor” and a “Whole-Life Mentor,” then set out to find what you are looking for.

Here’s how.

A Role Mentor is someone that is exceptional at a certain role, a particular skill or area of life that you desire to improve in, but they may not be someone you want to emulate in other areas of life.

They may be someone you look up to and want to learn from in an area like fitness or home design as examples, but not in other areas of life such as business and finance possibly.

For example, a Role Mentor may have great marriage advice, yet not be someone who can model a healthy, high-energy life like you may also desire.

Or you may want to learn from a Role Mentor in an area like business but not allow them to mentor you in your marriage. Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, and countless other brilliant business minds are examples of men I don't want to model my marriage after.

The possible scenarios are endless. The point is that Role Mentors are not Whole-Life Mentors, and we must know the difference between the two, so we don't mistakenly think other areas of a Role Mentor’s life are worth emulating.

A Whole-Life Mentor, on the other hand, is someone who’s whole life is one to be emulated. They are obviously not perfect, Jesus Christ is our only perfect example, but they are having success in all the areas of life most important to you.

For me, these most important areas are:

• My relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
• My relationship with my wife, Nicole
• My ability to parent our children well
• My health, fitness, energy and vitality
• My ability to serve others in business
• My ability to create value for others in business

A Whole-Life Mentor allows you to see how all these important areas of life can work synergistically together without one or more important areas being neglected and compromised in the process.

After you’ve determined the core areas of importance for your life that you’re desiring to grow and improve in, finding someone whose life is in alignment with these areas and is a great example to learn from in each of them is extremely helpful.

This would be what I’d call a Whole-Life Mentor.

Being clear on which mentors are Whole-Life Mentors and which are just single Role Mentors will help us become better aware of and intentional about who we are allowing to impact us and why.

In closing, when selecting mentors, which can be people you personally know or people you follow online, read their books, watch their videos, etc., become a great fruit inspector.

Inspect the fruit of their lives. Pay attention not to just what they say but more importantly how they live. Be crystal clear what areas of their lives are in alignment with your life goals and objectives.

If they don’t have what you want or aren’t at least on the journey towards accomplishing want you desire in any area of importance to you, they are someone who should at most be limited to a Role Mentor in your life, assuming there is an area of expertise they possess that you want to learn from.

Stop to think about who your Role Mentors are and whether or not you have any Whole-Life Mentors. If not, they are worth seeking out to learn from, be inspired by and to follow their example for as long as they remain in alignment with your values and objectives.

If you’d like to hear the most recent interview on my “Life's Hard, Succeed Anyway” podcast with entrepreneur Gabe Booher, who after 7 years of infertility had a son born with Cystic Fibrosis, incurred $1.2M in medical debt in the process and ended up having to file bankruptcy, you can listen and subscribe here to be encouraged with the lessons and wisdom learned along the way by his phenomenal story.

Until next time,